


Officer Naughty

by kiismehardy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 00:45:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3630345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiismehardy/pseuds/kiismehardy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James is a kissogram who mistakenly shows up at Lily's door. She, flirtatious as ever, goes along with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Officer Naughty

The doorbell rings. Lily growls and sets down her mug, tea slopping over the sides. She shuffles down the hall in her boy boxers and camisole, stumbling over cat toys and wondering who the hell could be here at this hour. 

She slams open the door. “What?” she yawns. “It’s eight in the morning. People are asleep—” But she stops when she sees who it is. It’s a boy—a man really—dressed in the tightest police uniform she’s ever seen. It’s almost obscene, the way it highlights his lean muscles. Her eyes drink him up, from his messy dark hair to the badge on his chest naming him as “Officer Naughty” to the handcuffs dangling from his belt. Suddenly she feels very awake, and very aware of how much skin she’s showing.

“Happy birthday, Marlene.” His voice is deep as he gazes into her eyes with a half-smile playing on his lips. “I wish you a very special day." And he kisses her.

Lily freezes. He’s a kissogram, obviously, and has been sent to the wrong address. But he doesn’t know that, and she doesn’t have a chance to tell him, because his tongue is in her mouth and his hands are on her back and she’s kissing him back. 

She reaches up around his neck, standing on tiptoe and pulling him closer. He lifts her up ever so slightly and pushes her against the open door. His handcuffs dig into her waist, but she ignores it and presses against him harder. 

He bites her lip roughly, then moves to the side of her mouth. He presses kisses all along her jawline and down her neck, ending up at the hollow between her collarbones. Her eyelids flutter shut.

“I’m not Marlene,” she whispers as he’s about to kiss her again. He pauses and immediately she wishes she could take it back. 

“Excuse me?” Officer Naughty says. “Sorry, did you just say you’re _not Marlene?_ My _client?_ ” He pulls back, a look of horror dawning on his face. “What the hell?”

Lily looks at her slipper-clad feet. “I’m Lily. You’ve got the wrong address, I guess. Sorry?” She glances back up at him, grinning bashfully. “If it helps, you’re a great kisser.” 

Officer Naughty runs a hand through his hair, biting his lip. “That’s my fucking _job_. And you just kind of ruined it. God, I could get fired for this.” He paces her tiny front porch. “Why didn’t you stop me?”

Lily crosses her arms. “Well, I was going to, but you didn’t really give me a chance. And then you were kissing me and it was nice. I went along with it.” She leans against the doorframe. “Marlene lives next door. And her birthday is tomorrow, by the way."

"Tomorrow?" he asks. "Isn't her birthday the 24th?" Officer Naughty looks absolutely crushed. Lily supposes his day hasn't been going very well so far. He showed up at the wrong place on the wrong day and kissed the wrong girl.

A twinge of guilt nudges at her chest. "No, I'm sorry. It's the 25th." An awkward silence ensues. They don't meet each other's eyes. "Er, do you want to come inside? Have some tea?" Lily asks, feeling bad for him. 

Officer Naughty heaves a sigh. "That would be nice, thank you. I'm James, by the way. James Potter." He follows her into the house.

"Well, I didn't really think your last name was Naughty. That would be unfortunate." Lily smiles at him as they enter the kitchen. "Please, sit down. I was just having breakfast." She fetches another mug from the cupboard and pours him some tea. "Milk? Sugar?" she asks and hands him the cup. Their hands get kind of muddled in the pass and she flushes. He ignores it.

"Honey, if you have it. I won't stay long; I don't want to be a bother." James accepts the jar of honey and liberally spoons some into his tea. She sits down across from him.

"So, you're a kissogram. That must be exciting," she says. "Who hired you for Marlene? Was it Alice? I bet it was Alice." 

He smiles. "Actually, it was a man called Sirius. Her boyfriend, I guess? It was strange. Usually we're hired by friends." He stretches his legs out under the table and accidentally kicks her. "Oops, sorry."

Lily waves a hand. "It's fine. And Sirius is just her friend, actually. Everyone thinks they're dating." She watches as James wipes a drop of tea from his lip and remembers how it felt to be kissed by him. "But Marlene isn't really his type, if you get what I'm saying." She raises an eyebrow at him when he looks confused. "He plays for another team?"

"Oh. Oh! I get it," James says. "Yeah. I can see that, actually." They're silent again, but it's not awkward this time. They're less like strangers now and more like friends, albeit friends who just had their tongues in each other's mouths. "I should get going, actually. I have a client on the other side of town in twenty minutes." He stands and stretches, shirt riding up to reveal a toned lower stomach. "Thanks for the tea. And sorry about kissing you, really." He and Lily walk down the hall and she opens the door. 

"No problem. Like I said, it was nice." She grins at him. "A word of advice: for your next appointment, make sure you have the right address." He laughs and jumps down the two steps.

"I'll keep that in mind," he says. "Bye, Lily. Thanks again." He turns away and walks down the street, whistling. She can't take her eyes off him. 

Lily deliberates for a moment, then makes a snap decision. "Wait, James!" she calls, just as he reaches the corner. He looks back over his shoulder. "Do you want to have a drink with me tomorrow night?"

A smile spreads across his face, visible even from this distance. "Of course," he shouts back. "I'll pick you up at seven!" 

Lily can't help but smile back. “See you then. Bye, Officer Naughty!" She waves at him from her porch until he turns the corner and is gone. 

Her cat leaps up on the railing next to her and meows. "Oh, shut up," Lily says, scratching her. "Don't judge. He was cute, and a good kisser. What more could a girl ask for?" And she goes back inside, already planning what she's going to wear.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on kiismehardy.tumblr.com. Hope you enjoyed!


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